It is funny how people can read in and blame you for being snarky even though there was none intended. The willingness to read in things "between the lines" is strong in humans.
Content warning: Unsolicited advice; disregard if not inclined
Maybe ask them what forums those are, take a peek, and then make up your mind if you want to modify your style based on something you see there that you like?
Also, please consider that *you* are the side of the equation that's previously received actual threats about your work; I think you have perfectly justifiable reasons to occasionally be defensive or even harsh.
Exactly, also consider that you are running a project with an exceptional upstream-to-downstream ratio. curl has well upward of a million users per contributor.
@xahteiwi But what is an improvement. Without knowing the other person, their perception and backgrounds, it's almost impossible to get it right. Even being polite can be received as hostile, as example if you are asking for more details.
also, not excluding elementary politeness, such as thanking people for doing their part well, can go surprisingly far -- "thank you for the bug report", "i appreciate the effort you put into the response", etc.
once the ego demon gets its sacrifice, almost nobody dares to be a dick
I have adhd and autism, and my ability to both infer and convey tone is TERRIBLE. Text based conversations are usually much easier for me to deal with, as it allows me to slow down, and actually process things.
It's probably a stupid reason, but I have been wrong regarding interactions a lot. It's bitten me in the ass more times that I can count, especially at work.
I don't know if it's a "willingness" so much as an instinct. Our brains developed this way, to tell stories, find meaning, and fill in the blanks. When we are communicating we may feel like we've left no blanks to fill, but even in person it's impossible.
@katylava yeah, I meant that our brains "want" to find meaning and a tone, and depending on multiple things we sometimes find such even if there maybe was none intended
Florian Haas
in reply to daniel:// stenberg:// • • •daniel:// stenberg://
in reply to Florian Haas • • •@xahteiwi you joke but in the actual case I was also told:
"This is the most unfriendly forum of all that I monitor."
... so yeah, I clearly need to up my game...
Florian Haas
in reply to daniel:// stenberg:// • • •Content warning: Unsolicited advice; disregard if not inclined
Maybe ask them what forums those are, take a peek, and then make up your mind if you want to modify your style based on something you see there that you like?
Also, please consider that *you* are the side of the equation that's previously received actual threats about your work; I think you have perfectly justifiable reasons to occasionally be defensive or even harsh.
daniel:// stenberg://
in reply to Florian Haas • • •you are right in that I of course can always improve and I am in no way claiming that I'm a master of expressing myself.
but it is also a question of how much time and effort I can spend on a single person in a single thread...
Florian Haas
in reply to daniel:// stenberg:// • • •Andreas Scherbaum
in reply to daniel:// stenberg:// • • •Man2Dev :idle:
in reply to daniel:// stenberg:// • • •iliazeus
in reply to daniel:// stenberg:// • • •daniel:// stenberg://
in reply to iliazeus • • •NetworkManager
in reply to iliazeus • • •@iliazeus yes
also, not excluding elementary politeness, such as thanking people for doing their part well, can go surprisingly far -- "thank you for the bug report", "i appreciate the effort you put into the response", etc.
once the ego demon gets its sacrifice, almost nobody dares to be a dick
daniel:// stenberg://
in reply to NetworkManager • • •Stefan Eissing
in reply to daniel:// stenberg:// • • •Derick Rethans
in reply to daniel:// stenberg:// • • •Troed Sångberg
in reply to daniel:// stenberg:// • • •"Humans are more difficult than code."
... and every single person on the spectrum in the world nodded in unison.
Markus Werle
in reply to daniel:// stenberg:// • • •I heavily doubt humans are more difficult than C++ code. At least both share the notion of undefined behavior.
#cplusplus #humans
HAMMER SMASHED FILESYSTEM 🇺🇦
in reply to daniel:// stenberg:// • • •🇺🇸 🇺🇦 🇮🇱 🐧 🥦
in reply to daniel:// stenberg:// • • •Text communication being bereft of other communication elements doesn't help either.
One more reason to use social media less and try to have in-person interactions more.
No disrespect.
its_a_me
in reply to daniel:// stenberg:// • • •form of emphasis for communication
Contributors to Wikimedia projects (Wikimedia Foundation, Inc.)alba
in reply to daniel:// stenberg:// • • •I have adhd and autism, and my ability to both infer and convey tone is TERRIBLE. Text based conversations are usually much easier for me to deal with, as it allows me to slow down, and actually process things.
It's probably a stupid reason, but I have been wrong regarding interactions a lot. It's bitten me in the ass more times that I can count, especially at work.
katy lavallee
in reply to daniel:// stenberg:// • • •daniel:// stenberg://
in reply to katy lavallee • • •