Hey, #TwitterMigration folks. Can we have a "real talk" moment? I wanna shoot on something for a second. (Those are both links, if either term is unfamiliar.)

I'm seeing a swell of "reply guy" behavior: folks (not solely "guys"; it just rhymes, and you're free to send me alternatives; let's workshop) who see an interesting post and rush to slap that "reply" button.

I know that other place incentivizes that behavior. If your reply is funnier, more angrily blunt, etc. than the other seven hundred people who responded similarly, you might go viral, gain a slew of new followers, even end up cross-posted to Reddit or to some Hood-forsaken Bored Panda list as tasty cud for depressed office cattle.

Please listen to your friend Billy Zane on this; he's a cool dude, he's tryin' to help you out:

We're growing, but ain't no 25,000 people seein' your post, my post, ANY post over here. You bust through the wall like ol' Kool-Aid to deliver the same idea that four other people already have? Y'ain't gon' impress.

Just click the goddamned post and look at the whole conversation. There are not 382 replies to scroll through; there's like, on average, five.

And if there are more? Well, that sounds like an engaging, nuanced conversation. You don't want to be the rando that walks up to a table of seven in a restaurant to add a bland, uninformed opinion that the group moved past while they were waiting for apps.

We love it here. We want, sincerely, to love having you here.

Click the goddamned post. ​