Listening to @FreakyFwoof latest episode and this gets me thinking about interdependence care. Ever since I was young, it was stressed to me, even to the degree of harm because I developed unhealthy pride and got into some very unsafe situations because my pride lead me to creating a toxic environment of internalized ableism for myself, that independence was the only way to go, but blind people when I was growing up did not want me to practice interdependence care. I was to be fully independent, at all times. I was never to ask for help, from anybody, and while I don't want to explain all the lonely situations that put me in, I'd like to illustrate how interdependence care can be beneficial.
I was at a disabled persons house the other day with a group of disabled people. They knew carrying things was going to be problematic for me, with my cane, and the plate stacked with food, so they asked me if they could carry the food while I helped someone else pour a drink they asked assistance for and couldn't physically do. I said yes, and soon, we all were helping each other out and no agency was removed from anybody. Interdependence care looks different from the traditional care model because agency isn't taken away from anybody. It allows us to get to know each other and our bodies, which is a very intimate space. But by allowing other people into that very intimate space, a whole new kind of person centric care can emerge. It allows me to utilize words without qualifiers because when I speak of spoons, these loved ones instantly know where I'm coming from because we all practiced interdependence care, which is a type of love that I haven't seen much. There's only care, and no judgment, and it's far less lonely than being independent.