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A man goes into the doctor, and says "I broke my arm in three places." And the doctor says, "Well then don't go to those places anymore."
#joke #jokes


Did you hear about the psychic dwarf that escaped prison transport?
The police spokesperson said they have a small medium at large.
#joke #jokes


What's a pirate's least favorite letter?
A letter from an ISP saying they've been downloading illegally.
#joke #jokes


Black Betty walked into a butcher shop and asked for beef.
The butcher replied, "No Black Betty, Ham or Lamb?"
#joke #jokes


Who loses the American Presidential Debate?
America.
#joke #jokes


Which day of the week do ghosts like best?
Moandays.
#joke #jokes


Content warning: I'm getting a little tired of the method I use to connect to the Fediverse.


I tooted Hello World on November 30, 2022.

Then I began tooting my #music and a ton of #puns #jokes, and #memes. And you all responded so genuinely, and with such positivity, that I very quickly was made to feel at home.

My deepest gratitude goes out to the #Mastodon community, a #community that has literally improved the quality of my time on this spinning rock as it hurtles through space, towards a future that seems more uncertain every day. It’s unlike any other “social media platform” here.

Today, I celebrate the arbitrary milestone of five thousand followers, and I just wanted to say thank you.

Thank you for the favourites, the boosts, the follows, and the comments.

Thank you for your conversations, discussions, and corrections.

Thank you for listening to my music and sharing your thoughts on it with me, and for following along on your chosen streaming service. This has been amazing.

But, above all, I’d like to thank you all for making Mastodon the friendly and welcoming place that it is. My experience here is one of wonderful acceptance, and it has been truly humbling. There is nowhere else quite like it.

Massive big huge love to you all,

- Jon (Dgar)


2:30pm ET this Saturday November 12th, watch a livestream (free!) of my stand-up #comedy at !!Con

https://bangbangcon.com/program.html

10-15 minutes of #jokes about the psychological occupational hazards of working in software, #opensource celebrity, and other tech experiences

#bangbangcon #conference #entertainment #free