It's time for another #fedidreams! Get ready to be underwhelmed. Last night, work assigned me to recover the mythical legendary sandwich. It was always named in full, in my dream. Apparently, the mythical legendary sandwich was originally created by the Romins, but when Rome was renamed to Italy, all of the maps had to be updated, and the secret hiding place of the mythical legendary sandwich was lost in the process. Can you tell I passed every history class I ever took? To assist me on my search, I was partnered with a set of North Korean triplets named Gold, Silver, and Bronze. No, I don't know, either. But lucky for me, anyone who is holding hands with two out of three North Korean triplets can fly and teleport. I'm sure all of you already knew this rule, but it was news to me! It turned out to be really useful, though. After teleporting to Italy, we began flying over the coast. This was surprisingly less comfortable than you would expect; I was just...dangling by the hands between Silver and Bronze. Also, it was cold and damp! When I woke up, I did notice that I was lying on one of my hands oddly, and it was a bit sore. Anyway, after a few hours of uncomfortable flight, we discovered an unpopulated island with a cave. Upon landing and entering the cave, we...discovered the mythical legendary sandwich. It was right there. So we quartered it into four and ate it. It was okay. And that's how the dream ended: four people hanging out in a cave, eating a pretty average sandwich. It was cheese, onions, mayo, lettuce, and onions on sourdough bread. I have no idea where any of that came from! And that's why I haven't been posting these lately. If you found this one unsatisfying, imagine how unsatisfying all the ones I haven't shared have been.

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Right! Been a while since I did a #fedidreams. So: last night, I dreamed that my work created a new security policy. All employees must use bloodlock on any device that contains work related data. What's bloodlock? Glad you asked! Obviously, it's a feature that requires you to prick your finger and deposit a drop of blood on the sensor every time you want to unlock your device. In the meeting this was announced, we were told that we would be supplied 60 needles and bandages a month for this purpose, and if we needed more, we'd have to pay for them ourselves. Also, the "auto-lock" policy would be reduced from 60 seconds to 15 seconds. Lastly, Microsoft, Apple, and Google would all use our DNA (as collected from our blood) for AI training purposes. So I did this on my work device. However, I got a meeting scheduled with our HR team. They told me that "Your first and last name are work related data. Any device that contains your first and last name must comply with the bloodlock policy." So then I had to put it on all my personal devices, too. The dream ended with me trying to log into my work device for a critical meeting, but it wasn't working! I had pricked my finger so many times to unlock my devices that no blood would come out! I woke up to find my left hand had fallen asleep. Obviously that was the trigger for...all of this nonsense. LOL