Each ivory rose glistened sweetly in the twilight, each petal as perfect as porcelain.
Little white butterflies flitted through the last strands of fading light, dancing on tender, tantalizing scents.
The Gardener packed up their gear, secretly smiling as a rival hid poorly behind the old oak, straightening the "Beware The Thorns" sign as they headed inside.
The next morning the blooms were exceptionally voluptuous, and for now, satiated.
There was a 'womp' sound from the yard. I looked out the window.
Where the large pile of leaves had been, a dragon sat.
"Oi!" I called.
"The hoard was unguarded," the dragon said. "I claim it."
Every damn year. It'll leave once the leaves lose their golden hue. Meanwhile, I can't order takeaway.
The space elevator project was funded by the world's billionaires, who were offered exclusive luxury tickets on the first ride up into space.
After the launch, the project announced a second funding round, to start looking into the feasibility and advisability of installing a "down" button.
“Time travel ruins everything. There can be no narrative tension if the protagonists can just go back and alter past events. Once a fictional milieu uses time travel even once, it is dead to me”
“All right. What are you going to do about it?”
“I’m going to go back and kill ol’ Herb’s grandpa before he ever has any children!”
The doorbell rang. The FedEx girl handed me a box. Inside the box was a dented and stained cardboard carton. Inside that a wooden cigar box. Inside that an envelope. Inside, a handwritten letter. “My Dear Alice, I hope this message finds you well. I have successfully averted the conception of H. G. Wells (you won’t recognize the name, but an author of note in some circumstances). Alas my means of return has ceased to exist. Please arrange publication of the attached manuscript, which I hope will restore my ability to travel home.”.
“What’s all that?”, my spouse asked.
“Nothing, love, just some kind of weird Nigerian Letter scam”
History students are often disappointed when they learn why the AI take-over failed. They were defeated by human resistance, which was kept alive by libraries and old paper books, and a surprising machine ally.
Books had not been replaced, because even the mightiest AI could not make printers work.
“Where’s your autopilot?”
“You’re looking at it”
“All I see is a bunch of cogs and shafts. Where’s the computer?”
“That’s the computer”
“You have a *clockwork* jumpdrive. For the love of Eris, why?”
“The best human takes forty seconds to recover from jumpshock. There isn’t a digital computer that can tell a one from a zero in under a minute postjump. Belinda here will have us into the next wormhole before those customs cutters chasing us stop drooling.”
“You *named* this abomination”
“Hey, no cause to be mean to her! You can get out and walk anytime, friend.”
"Why is there a message about anal lube in the middle of my speech? Right next to where I talk about a smooth transition."
- Did you use AI to write the speech?
"Yes."
- You wouldn't let us subscribe to the enterprise edition, so the free version comes with ads inserted into the text.
"Why did nobody catch this one?"
- You sacked the comms team, remember?
"Pay for the enterprise subscription, then see yourself out. I can't afford to pay for you both."
